Valentines
by Code Purple
Summary: Five times Robin got Valentines from girls he didn't like, and two times he made fun of said Valentines.  Slight Dick/Babs.


**As much as I love Artemis/Robin and Robin/Zatanna, those aren't the pairing in this.**

**Slight Babs/Dick.**

**Also, this wasn't Beta'd. So, if you find any mistakes, review!**

* * *

><p>The date read February 14th on Richard Grayson's calender.<p>

In his head, it read 'The day even more girls flirt with me than usual.'

Wonderful.

(Sarcasm)

He went downstairs, and noticed.

Alfred was happy today.

That was always good.

He placed the heart shaped pancakes that only Alfred could make so perfectly, in his mouth.

And when he sneaked a peak into his lunchbox, he found a bag of heart-shaped cookies attached to a box of Sweethearts.

And a note telling him to give them to his 'lady friends'.

Like hell he was going to.

And on the back of the Post-It, was that Bruce's handwriting?

'_Be sure to give some to a girl and not eat them all... Or maybe they'll eat you instead_.'

What the _hell, _Bruce?

* * *

><p>"Hi!" The girl practically screamed at him.<p>

"Hello." He waved.

The first villain on this Valentine's Heart-Fest.

Robin would rather face Harley and the Joker than listen to conceited gold-diggers claim they love him.

"Well, um," She said.

He gestured for her to go on.

"Today's kinda Valentine's Day... ?" She blushed, and handed him a red, bright valentine.

Because he was raised by Bruce Wayne, he smiled a charming smile, a far cry from the smirk his teammates knew (and loved).

Too bad he'd have to break her fangirl heart.

"Thanks for telling me, I appreciate it, but I don't think I'm quite ready to be in a relationship just right now... I'm sorry."

"Oh! That's okay! You can keep the valentine, by the way." She sounded disappointed.

He smiled again.

"Thanks."

He'd read it later.

In the distance, he heard screeching.

"OHMIGOD RICHARD GRAYSON JUST SMILED AT ME OMFG AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

Fangirls were lovely things. Maybe he'd set one on Wally.

* * *

><p>"Robin!" Megan exclaimed.<p>

"Yeah, Megan?"

"Today's Valentine's Day, correct?"

"Yes..." He saw where she was going with this.

Sigh.

"My friends say that it's customary to give friends of the opposite gender valentines today!"

He chuckled.

Did Wally tell her that?

Probably.

"That is correct. Though usually you give it to a crush or boyfriend."

"Oh... Do you still want this, then?"

She handed him a pink (The color was killing his eyes) valentine that was shaped perfectly like a heart, most likely thanks to her telekinesis.

"Sure, Megan. I'll have it."

It's not like he ripped them up or anything.

...He only laughed about each and every one of them with Batgirl and Barbara.

* * *

><p>Robin was on patrol.<p>

With Batman.

And a fangirl came up to him.

He'd die now, thanks.

"Hi, Robin! Um, I'm a really big fan of yours... And... C-an I have your autograph?"

If he didn't know Bruce so well, he'd say that he was smiling. But of course not. He was Batman.

"Sure."

He signed, with his left hand, not right, like Batman had taught him, 'Robin, the Boy Wonder.'

Done.

"Um... I wanted to give you this, too? If you'll have it?"

She handed him a single red rose (where the hell was she hiding that thing?) and a lace-y valentine.

"Thank you." He replied.

Then he glided to the next building.

* * *

><p>"Robin." He heard Artemis' voice. "My mom thought I should make valentines for all my 'extracurricular friends'."<p>

He noticed how annoyed she sounded.

"Here."

She gave him an arrow-shaped (obviously homemade) green valentine and started to walk away.

"Thanks, Artemis." Robin said, smirking. "I'll keep this so I can show it to Green Arrow."

She facepalmed.

"It wasn't my idea, okay?"

"I know."

"Thanks."

"I'm still showing it to him."

She huffed, and walked away.

"Just don't expect it to be perfectly not-burned when you get to read that thing."

"Maybe Red Arrow and Wally, too."

She threw him a lighter.

"Please burn that after you read it."

He followed after her for training.

"No, thanks."

* * *

><p>"Hey, Boy Wonder."<p>

"Zatanna? I thought you were grounded for life?"

"For life meant around four months. I'm good now." She smiled.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Robin."

She handed him a star shaped card.

It had a lollipop and glitter on it.

He took the lollipop, cherry flavored with an 'R' frosted on.

"This looks familiar." Smirk.

"I based it off of your 'R' right..." She poked his chest. "There."

He smiled.

"Zatanna, as much as I like you, I don't think a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship would end up too asterous for us. My mentor's Batman, remember?"

"I know."

"Thanks for the lollipop."

"You're welcome."

* * *

><p>"Babs."<p>

"Dick."

She smirked.

"Guess how many valentines I got this year?"

"Around twenty seven?"

"Close." For Richard, at least. Robin had, like fifty.

"Thirty one?"

"Thirty."

"No," She said. "Thirty one." Barbara handed him a valentine.

"This one's from another one of your fangirls."

"Great."

She snickered.

"Read it."

He did.

'_Richard,_

_Happy Valentine's Day._

_You suck._

_-Bette_'

He laughed.

"So Bette's my fangirl now?"

"Obviously."

"Read this one, Babs."

"Alright."

'_Dear Richard,_

_I dream of you everyday_

_Your wonderous face_

_Striking blue eyes_

_And cry when I wake up_

_Because I don't see you anymore._

_Love, Your Secret Admirer_'

"Somebody's a poet."

"Yup."

"I bet it was Artemis Crock." They giggled.

"No, I bet it was Alfred." They snickered.

"It was totally Batman." They laughed.

"No, it was your dad." They laughed louder.

"It was Kid Flash!" By then, they were guffawing and smiling like idiots.

"Superman!"

"Green Arrow!"

"I'm pretty sure it was some snotty rich girl."

"That sounds about right."

"I got a valentine from a five year old."

"Did you really?" Barbara asked.

"Look." He showed it to her.

It was shaped like a Pokeball, and it said_' _, I choose you!_'

His name was filled in the blanks.

"I didn't know you were a Pokemon."

"Neither did I. If I were a Pokemon, my attacks would be Calculator, Punch, Awesomeness, and Flamethrower."

"What does Calculator do?"

"They're not awesome enough for my Mathlete-ness."

"So they die?"

"Yup."

"And Flamethrower?"

"Shoot some fire at those stupid fangirls."

"I'd like to do that."

"Fangirls are stupid."

"Fanboys are worse."

"Fans are stupid."

"Yes, they are."

* * *

><p>"Batgirl."<p>

"Yeah?"

"Look at this valentine."

"'Dear Robin,

I love you so much I could just die.

You are so hot and amazing and I wish you would marry me.

Love, Katie.' Looks like this 'Katie' really loves you."

"_Obviously_."

"Of course."


End file.
